Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Clairvoyance.(?! )

55 words, bug hits me too. :-). Below is my attempt.

A dark room. Mobiles ringing ceaselessly. Blinking computer monitors. Cigarette smoke wafting. HQ of clandestine "Operation Victory". A few hustled voices. His view was fixated at the television.

"How much have we made?"

"800 Crores".

"Reverse- Swing it", he said, with a sinister grin.

The next day morning newspaper's headlines screamed ........


Friday, March 09, 2007

Performance Appraisal : Explained

Many a times, we encounter this queer excercise called Performance Appraisal. Ever wondered, what are the meanings of some of the expressions used in that meeting?

Goal-Oriented (n): One needs to work towards a goal. Well, the goal here ... is to impress your manager!! Silly, not by your work, though!
Usage : X, you need to be more goal-oriented! We haven't completed the 20 man day's work, yet! Didn't we agree, we would finish it in 4 man days?

Focussed (n): To be the SPOC (single point of contact). Many folks, mistake this word to mean, to concentrate on their job! That's not true. I t means, you must be so effective that you make your manager *redundant* !! (Hint : Remember Focal point in Physics? Here, you must be that focal point as far as your project is concerned).
Usage: Y, is a focussed resource, he has seldom left office early. Wonder, why he keeps screaming, "SIX" and "four" now and then!

Learning (n) : The act, process, or experience of gaining knowledge or skill. In this case, it means your ability to cope with the fact that you have a bad rating. It means, extraordinary courage and grit, to accept the unfair!
Usage: You need to take this rating as a learning!

Proactive (adj): Acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty; anticipatory. In this case, this word goes closely with clarivoyance. One needs to know, how to have conducted three more sessions on a topic, that never existed prior to two day before appraisal. Unfortunately, this would be communicated to you only when in the meeting! Tough luck folks, that's indeed a tough nut to crack!
Usage: You could have been proactive and have conducted a session on "Team Selection for 2011 World Cup". See, we are one spinner short already!

Visibility (n): The fact, state, or degree of being visible. Well, this should'nt be taken literally! Think of your self as a flight needing to take off when engulfed by a thick fog! Assume all your appraisers to be having an eye sight of -4. Now, do you see the picture? Good! If that's the case, assume what all pyro techniques you need to get their attention. Yeah .. Yeah .. thats the way!
Usage: WHOA! This guys spams my mailbox so many times! It sure is improving his visibility.

Key resource(n) : Well, you hold the key to the project. Remember, thats the only reason you are even valued. Give them an oppurtunity to duplicate you and that's the day you are sold! See, focussed above.
Usage: Ask, y, where he has placed the start button, to my computer! Oh it's at the bottom left side? Good! What would i do without you? You are my key resource!

Potential (adj) : Capable of being but not yet in existence; latent. Yeah, that clearly means ... you are around, but havent yet arrived. Keep tapping, wood pecker.
Usage: You have the potential to be the President of the India. Oh ..... you are just twenty five? Tsk. Tsk. You are too young for that post.

Responsibility (n): The state, quality, or fact of being responsible. Again, do not make the mistake of assuming this holds true for just your job! The scope of that word is more than that. It means to be responsible for your manager's job!!! Yeah, read focussed again!
Usage: He has handled multiple responsibilities. He can substitute four others!

Show Stopper (n): Yeah, quite literally. You need to stop the show, if you did not solve the same. Ah .. if you have resolved a few of those, during your last cycle, a recognition (?) maybe on your way! If you were the one who induced it .... "High five! Join the club of the Rest".
Usage: Resolve that quickly, thats indeed a show stopper! All the show i have put on till now .. will be dead and gone if that's not resolved!

Resource (n): Another shrimp in the sea. Read key resource and focussed, to get a life! Another dispensable element in your area of work!
Usage: He has the potential, a good resource.

Opputunity(n) : Chance. In this case, a reward. If its not the one you want, then you have wasted a gifted oppurtunity!
Usage: You want an assigment away from your country? You already had an oppurtunity to work on outdated technology here! Oh .. you think thats not good .... you have wasted a golden oppurtunity!

Maturity (n) : The state or quality of being fully grown or developed. Well, in this case, its consoling you! You have a bad rating because, you have nt yet matured in your role!
Usage: B, do not take this serioulsy. You have to mature in that rolel. Take this as a learning.

Well, there you are! Your guide to excellence in your organisation has been explained. Make the best use of the tips above and get successful.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Is Venus Brighter today?

Whether it is ......

Or .......

Or .......

Or .....

Or .....

As a planet Venus, is the brightest. Did it just seem a tad brighter today? ;-).
So, keeping my shout out simpler, Wish all you venusians a great day!
You folks make this world a better place to live in. :-).

Monday, March 05, 2007

21.6.23 !!

The Summer of '97. ICSE exams. The examination, on "English Language", had a section on compositions, where, we had a brief series of events, that were provided to us, and we were expected to extrapolate the same and come up with our composition. Well, back then, if i had the topic as, " 10 years - A few friends -Meet at - A coffee shop", i am not sure, what i would have written ....... But i am indeed happy .... last Saturday, i was'nt writing any composition. This was reality ...... :-).

Contrary, to the saying, "Reality continues to ruin my life", the meet, that was arranged as a surprise, indeed took me on a journey to Nostalgia ville, with the pathway being adorned with trees called memories! 10 years .... yes that feels old. Although, tracing the path once again din't seem all that difficult at all.

A lot can happen over coffee ... :-)
Eight of us, ,met at Inch( Inch, a coffee hub, at hundred feet road is not "any other" coffee joint. The ambience is good. From swings to bean bags, they have it all. Above all, the folks who run the place, have loads of patience. How else, do i explain, that we were one of the noisiest crowds in that place and we hung on for about four hours and did'nt get thrown out? :D. Hey folks at Inch, thanks for being so kind, we will definitely be back again soon ;-).

In these ten years, after school, we folks had diversified to multiple disciplines. V, had struck gold down- under , and now works as a team lead with e four e. L, has ofcourse, followed the mahatma, to experiment with truth, unfortunately, this truth belongs to Ramalinga Raju :D. K, has moved on to reduce the market capitilzation of some Business machines. P, ensures risks are mistigated and keeps a close tab on, JP and Morgan's chases . ;-). H, seems to be keeping pace with E without questioning Y. M, was the soft spoken management graduate from a premier institute of this nation. Vi and me , however are powered by intellect and driven by values. However, i never denied that the others weren't powered or driven ;-). (Man..... one needs a disclaimer everywhere! :D).

Slowly, the time gap seemed to fade away and we were all transported back in time. Incidents, which had then given us sleepless nights, were all stuff we could laugh about now ......! CE ,aka , the Principal,well it would a take a couple of blogs to even explain who that individual was.He was an enigma. Maxi and Maggi duly took their positions as joint second as we had so many anecdotes to share about them. Those wedding ring impressions, that indeed wiped your smile off your face. Science, was indeed never this interesting. :D. However the litmus test for "basic" compounds could have been done near the assembly hall itself. Bunsen burners, which i think were made to order and the shape was customized specifically to my school. The "Library-detention hall- lunch room" was a feature of civil engineering brilliance, that had exploited the "overloading" phenomenon completly! The teachers. The crushes. Marathon. Relay competitions. Badminton. Marching and Display. A few dudes, who get the top slot in MAX X (thanks to I & B, AXN is back :D). The dudes include, Altaf and Michael, Sod Twins and alike........ The rented Grounds. Concerts. Ballet dances. The Slaps that landed from nowhere. The Canes, that landed everywhere. Boxing. SUPW. Crowd. Elocution. Inter School Events. Natasha Rodrigues (Ah ...). The Mathematics debacle. (SIGH :-/).................

WHOA! Each of them, if explained would take another post ......... :-).

Ah, having to discuss all this under one roof, was like winding back and running, "My life" at around 5000 X. It was awesome to recollect all those incidents and laugh at them. They say, hindsight is 20/20. How true. When we iterating through those incidents ( Yes, i am geeky ;-)), I pondered over a few things, and how they would have been different if i had reacted differently in that situation. But, life would have never been interesting, had it been any different!! :-). Anything can happen over coffee, says the punch line of a popular cafe chain. I agree. :-).

Yeah, for those who haven't yet figured out what the title for this post means ..... well they are the positions of letters in the English Alphabets, which translate to UFW .... (Unforgettable Weekend :-)). Thanks for all those who made it happen ....... and a special thanks to the "organisers" :-).