Monday, October 16, 2006

Simmering beneath the ground .....

Change, the universal truth is constant too!

What happens when this truth begins to experiment in a relationship? All of us, have a comfort zone and do not like to be miffed in that zone. The zone is where "you" are "YOU"! Most of us resist change, even though, sometimes that change is just for our betterment! We just want to be left the way we are .......

In one of our discussions, I remember Vasanth mentioning, "every individual is like a religion" . Pretty profound statement. Every individual has his/her own code of conduct. This conduct has evolved over time, based on the upbringing, culture, experiences that individual has been exposed to. What may be holy to some may be satanic to others. To make matters worse, there is no absolute of what's right or what's wrong! Whenever, one individual tries to manipulate others, in supporting his/her school of thought, there would be resistance.

Matters, which seem trivial on the exterior, sometimes, are the ones that cause devastating effects. When the individual is "driven" to change , he/she may not be able to reisist it instantly as there could be multiple layers of pressure on them. It could be peer pressure, attempt at sounding neanderthal, being conservative, being flamboyant, being brash ..... and so on .......... Though at that point the individual, seems to accept the situation, it has indeed scarred him/her. The individual already has begun to feel that he/she has "compromised" to a certain degree! Further acts .. of change would result in more scars and induce wounds on almost healed scars ....... Till the point that it is no longer acceptable by one of the individuals ........... and then ...... before you know it ........ the relationship begins to collapse. Soon, it's all over!

A discussion in time and identifying the changes that seem to be affecting a relationship .... and taking corrective action early on seems the only solution to it. If individuals 'agree to disagree' , it would solve most such issues. Simmering beneath the ground, change always exists in a molten state. It's upto the individuals to realize the same and plan accordingly.

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